World War 3 Would Hurt Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Chances
The Nobel Committee today warned Donald Trump that starting WW3 would not help his chances of winning the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize. ‘The clue’s in the name,’ said Committee member Brigitte Norsberg....
View ArticleWar and Famine denounce Brexit at B&Q canteen
Workers at B&Q in Tunbridge Wells were stunned yesterday during their tea break by the surprise arrival of two demonic figures: War and Famine. The nervous employees had only just sat down to chew...
View ArticleClik here to view.
UN rules should make wars ‘a little less rapey and killy’
An innovative move inspired by the great sporting heritage of International Boxing was unveiled by the UN today, following Red Cross calls for a daily two-hour ceasefire in Homs. ‘Boxing in its infancy...
View ArticleClik here to view.
France ends refugee crisis by bombing Syria
With barely 10,000 refugees arriving at the Hungarian border in the last few days, many in the EU were starting to panic that we might run out of dispossessed masses, reasons to vote UKIP or emotive...
View ArticlePlanet Earth expresses relief at falling fertility rates
Responding to reports of falling fertility rates across the human population, Planet Earth said it was “overjoyed and relieved” at the news, adding that it was “long overdue.” “Out of all of my...
View ArticleYemen war victims condemn Corbyn coat
Victims of the war in Yemen have taken time out from being bombed by Saudi-led coalition forces to roundly condemn the raincoat worn by Jeremy Corbyn at the Remembrance Day service held at the Cenotaph...
View ArticleHorsemen of the Apocalypse overstretched, states spokesman
Death, CEO of Four Horsemen Enterprises, states that he and his colleagues War, Famine, and Pestilence want to re-negotiate their contract with God, it has been announced. “When we first started out in...
View ArticleWar Office denies Crimea plans jeopardised by secrets leak
A spokesperson briefing on behalf of Lord Cardigan said today that the discovery of top secret plans at a Hansom Cab rank would not affect the forthcoming military operations in Crimea. The documents,...
View Article